“Matters of the heart”, a #Valentine ‘s Day special, Contributed by : Lenin Ksh , (Editor of D. Elangbam), Imphal, 12:48 PM, 13th February, 2015.
I just had to browse for the word “Valentine” on the small Google screen in my Nokia 311 phone. I had to see if the write up that I’m going to contribute here for “Matters of the Heart” for Eche Monica Ingudam’s FindingTheVoices’ Special Valentine’s Day, 2015 update bears any relevance with the purpose. The low 2-G internet speed on this phone right now is making me crazy and impatient. I cannot wait so I’m starting it right-away.
I’m a Bachelor living in the youthful mid- 20’s. My hormones are at their peak and they intensely drive my emotions and ideas to pursue certain things that would value the wholesome meaning of my existence. I love to see beauty and I love to get pampered. Just as a normal Bachelor of our age would always do, I love to be heroic, manly and wish to be a caring male counterpart for my complementary companion who has always been missing from me throughout my whole life. And there had always been an innate venture to find that special someone who would spark the breath of newness and wonder. I wonder if such soul ever existed! Probably this venture might have been one of the potent forces that drove me to become expressive enough to be heard of my capability and creativity.
There had been crushes, not-actually-worked-out relationships and eventually those that left me outside the boundary in the friendship zones. It had given direct impact on the shape of my youthful growth and existence. There had been times of stupidity and shame resulting from my excessive outflow of desperation and untamed instinct in the untimely and unfavorable environment. There had also been times of nostalgic intimate encounters with persons who I adored and wanted to be bonded with but only to get rejection later from those same persons that left me with complete emptiness and feelings of being lost. I just realized that I’d never concerned much about their situations. I guess I had been very self indulgent and selfish. Life is a big wonder!
Nights were there which I have to spend alone with all the desperate yearnings. There were times when I get completely lost in self-indulgence; fantasizing about the unreachable dreams that leave me with a completely exhausted mind and body. Insomnia, as it could be called, is crept in many times filling the whole restless mind with thoughts of jealousy, greed and ego. Yes, I know, I had been desperate, pathetic and led a life degrading! But, I’d be very proud to say that there are also random guiding thoughts and angelic forces that healed me and keep the confidence and strength to get moving and to putting up the genuine smile till now. “You Is With You- Sometimes you miss someone to talk to but when you don’t have that someone it’s only You who you find to talk to. So, don’t try to underestimate or forget this you in any case, because, this you is the reality who you would miss the most.” I realized more deeply that my parents, family, friends and my students (yes, take tuitions for high school students!) are greatest priced possessions and taking part in their matters of concerns and sweet time passes gave my life a whole lot of new meanings!
It is spring time now and the revolution of the mother earth as well as the alignment of constellations towards each soul residing here on earth are of the favor of imparting new hopes and resources to blossom once again with confidence to all of us. I’m indeed considering myself lucky as I feel I’m also one of those souls residing here receiving the hope giving new waves of spring.
Working as an article contributor/ Admin and Editor for D.Elangbam (a creative Art Page in Facebook), I always find myself looking forward to receive inspirations and guidelines from the top leading icons of this generation and came across Eche Monica Ingudams’s Finding The Voices. The interest gets all the more intensified when Eche, herself, surprised me with her message in Facebook informing me if I could contribute a little article for the Valentine’s Day. It’s was indeed an opportunity, as I had always wanted to know more about her and the things that she does. I only saw her in “Sangai Festival” that too, coming on cable TV two years back. I also heard few of my friends talking about her good works.
I had to know her well and so, I stumbled upon her website. There I read about her “About Me” in her page and astounded me first with the way she wrote and with the inspiring personality that’s reflected in her writing. I found myself digging deeper into the pages and found her beautiful, sober and liberating 75 poems, articles and columns. I read them all! Oh! Reading all those, I felt all the more homesick (even though I’m right now at my home, in Manipur). I felt so connected and liberated that I started to give a little part of my devotion to this lady/soul who leading her own way towards self-realization and spontaneously-selflessly serving for our Fraternity and Humanity. Encountering with such positive and inspirational soul has made my previous concerns of desperations and yearnings hidden away to the place nowhere to be found.
I guess, from this spring time I would be guided all the more deeper by the Angels of Fortune towards the place where I would forever smile for all.
And also, if there ever exist any twin-flame who has ever been desperate to find a soul like me, someone who like to spend a Giggly conversation with me, I’d be very glad to take this opportunity in this Internet platform. This is the truth! This is where I begin to show!
Thank you Eche Monica Ingudam for providing us with such platform to express our inner Heart-felt desires to share it to the brotherhoods of Humanity. May you continue to reflect inspirations and charms for us all! May you receive the fruits of your endless dedication as “the Dhruva Taara” (Guiding Light) of the many generations to come! May you be blessed with long life and strength ahead!
Happy Valentine’s Day!