Rejections

Rejections
An article by Monica Ingudam

Everyone goes through rejections at some point of their life. It may rejections in love, in friendship, in work or any form of human relationships. Whatever form it may be, you will be hurt, really hurt making your heart ache so bad that you will cry. And it’s ok to cry. You are only human to cry. And nothing or no one can help you ease your heart ache. It’s only you, your solitude and time that can heal you.

Sometimes you come out emerging strong but loosing your belief in love, life, friendship or relationship. Sometimes you come out weak loosing your belief in yourself and remain broken. And sometimes you are stuck and in the moment of weakness you will loose yourself. Now the question is how to come out strong and drive towards the bright light from the dark tunnel, believing in yourself, transitioning from being a victim to a survivor to living your life.

No matter what advice you get from people or what you have read, it’s you and only you who have to step out of the darkness. Take the time you need but be sure to come out of the darkness you have been in. Open your eyes, look in all directions, directions which pulls you in, which makes you happy, which makes you smile and you will be surprised. Surprised in finding beautiful things in life which you have never seen before and will question yourself on how blinded you were not to notice it earlier. And you will start to see that there is no reason to waste your time in wallowing yourself with people or things who takes you to the dark tunnel, time and again. It is your choice, and only you can choose to move to beautiful things in life and find yourself. But find yourself, for you are special, precious and you deserve it.

Once you have found your place, place filled with your beautiful things bringing out your best smile, you will realize that you actually missed the light. And you can see events from a different perspective and move on with your life, with a stronger you.

It’s easy to fall back even after you found your place. But you should never give up. Once you know you are falling towards the dark tunnel, be quick to turn yourself to your space, your space of beautiful things. The space is different and unique for each of you. For some it may be reading, for some it may be music or writing or photography or gardening or walking or running or movies. There are tons of options, just open your eyes and you will know what pulls you in. Bringing you to a place where you, only you can control your state of mind and no one will ever drive you back in the dark tunnel. You are a survivor and you will find your way to living a beautiful life.

~The End~

Dedicated to everyone scratched by Rejections.

 

027 It’s all in the mind : The lady with shaved head

The lady with shaved head

She looks young and beautiful,
Even with her head shaved off,
She has clear eyes filled with pain,
She spoke to no one.

She would come every evening around the same time to this temple,
Climbs all the steps barefoot,
Sitting in the same spot,
Staring at nothing.

She never entered the temple nor was seen praying,
And when she leaves she seem calm,
The kind of calmness you would be scared of,
Making you come back the next evening to check on her.

~The End~

An Experimental attempt to put thoughts in writing by Monica Ingudam.

026 It’s all in the mind : The closed Door

The closed Door

The door is closed,
And the walls are high,
Without any glimpse of what lies beyond the door,
It’s been years behind the door,
And you have known only a life within the walls,
Which you have accepted,
And even started to enjoy the comfort and safety it provides,
You have read about beautiful things,
Things you have never seen,
The door is closed but not locked,
You could step out to explore the world,
And it’s your choice.

~The End~

An Experimental attempt to put thoughts in writing by Monica Ingudam.

025 It’s all in the mind : The Drive just after the snow!

The Drive just after the snow!

It’s a cold snowy day,
Your hands and face frozen after cleaning the snow off your car,
Roads are slippery and icy,
The visibility is low with ice on your windshield.

You see accidents of cars on the way,
You see frozen river giving you the chill thinking how cold it must be,
With all the dangers associated,
There is a certain charm driving just after the snow.

Driving on an abandoned road,
Once filled with traffic,
Making you feel you own it,
Driving at your own speed with your favorite songs played.

As you enjoy the beautiful sight,
All the dirt covered with pure white snow,
The barren tree, now covered with snow making it glow,
Snowflakes falling as the wind blows.

Even the sun won’t miss this sight,
But this beauty is short lived,
As It melts quickly,
Bringing you back to reality with slippery icy road.

Cars stained by the dirt,
Biting you with the bitter cold as you walk by,
When people ask you why bother to drive in such a bad weather,
You smile thinking you wouldn’t miss the beautiful sight and will drive yet again.

~The End~

Picture of George Washington memorial Parkway today.

An Experimental attempt to put thoughts in writing by Monica Ingudam.

024 It’s all in the mind : I am wandering but am not lost

I am wandering but am not lost

It’s a cold and windy day,
But that didn’t stop her from stopping by to see the river on her way,
She hurried and walked by the river,
She sat and watched the view.

Then continued with her walk,
Following where her feet takes her,
Soon she was on the bridge,
She stood on the bridge all by herself and watched the view.

It was getting colder with the winds from the almost frozen river,
But she continued with her walk,
Crossing the bridge,
And she walked and watched the view from the other side.

All the views was different and unique,
And it’s the view of the same river,
She continued walking back,
Rubbing her hands to keep herself warm.

Suddenly an old man sitting in the nearby bench calls out asking if she was lost and if she needed help,
She smiled and replied “I am just wandering but I am not lost”,
He points to a flask he is holding asking her “Coffee ?”

She couldn’t resist the invitation in the freezing cold,
She could use a warm drink before her walk back,
She nodded and sat next to him,
Unscrewing the cap he pours piping hot black coffee.

Sipping coffee they chatted about their favorite view of the river,
He loves his Miracle river from where he is sitting right then,
She loves the Potomac river when she sees from the middle of the bridge,
They spoke passionately about why they like what they love about each view.

They parted shaking hands,
She thanking him for the coffee and him thanking her for the company,
With a look they both knew,
What they spoke had deeper meaning than just the view.

She walked back hurriedly,
But stopped by in the middle of the bridge to see her view,
And waves to the old man still sitting on the bench,
And she continues back with her walk questioning if she is wandering or lost.

~The End~

Picture : Bridge across the Potomac River by George Washington Parkway, Washington DC.

An Experimental attempt to put thoughts in writing by Monica Ingudam.

023 It’s all in the mind : The first taste of wheat, the gift from the old priest

The first taste of wheat, the gift from the old priest

It must have been during the Eighties,
The rains won’t stop pouring in Imphal,
Day after day flooding everywhere,
People gathered in dry houses for sleeping,
Days went by and there was no food to eat.

The water just won’t go down with continuous non stop rains,
Rafts were made with banana stem to commute,
It was a hard time for everyone,
The old priest who spoke less and observed more sent bags and bags of whole wheat seeing people going hungry,
Emptying his whole go down of food supplies.

There were lines, long lines in Kwakeithel,
People coming from many other nearby leikai (community),
Everyone in the line was given whole wheat until the last grain was over,
Without questioning their religion,
Giving us the extra gift to see humanity and spirit of giving,

Being a rice eater, whole wheat was new to us,
Mother made whole wheat pudding, piping hot and watery with a pinch of sugar and milk added with the remains after scrubbing the canister,
And that was the first and best taste of whole wheat on a very cold day,
Tasted with a dash of kindness, the gift from the old priest,
His deeds never forgotten even when he is no longer with us.

~The End~

An Experimental attempt to put thoughts in writing by Monica Ingudam. This post is dedicated to Late Father Mathew Planthottam, founder of St. Joseph School, Imphal.

Author’s Note: I wrote in 2013 dedicating to Late Father Mathew Planthottam, founder of St. Joseph School, Imphal, Manipur to remind myself and others of the humanity and love beyond ethnicity or religion. On that day, I was very saddened to read a generalizing thrashing comments against religious Institute from the very people who stood in the long lines to get the wheat distributed during such hard times of hunger and flood. At that time, it didn’t stop them from receiving the help, despite the difference in religion or ethnicity but conveniently forgotten the kindness and ganging up with such vicious generalization. I wrote a stanza reflecting the hypocrisy but deleted as I was not brave enough to voice that part.

021 It’s all in the mind : Beautiful Snow

Beautiful Snow

It’s the first snow of the season,
Looking beautiful as it falls,
Mesmerizing your mind,
Making you pause to admire the beauty,
Feeling the soft pure white snow,
Melting instantly as it touches you,
And yet you surrender for the beautiful moment,
When you know it will melt again,
Making you forget about the sun.

~The End~

An Experimental attempt to put thoughts in writing by Monica Ingudam.

020 It’s all in the mind : Death

Death

No one wants to talk about death,
But there is nothing to be scared talking about it,
When you lie down facing the ceiling,
Seeing people wearing bluish green scrubs working on you,
And all you can do is wait,
You have all the time to think about life and death.

No one wants to talk about death,
But there is nothing to be scared talking about it,
You think of instant electric cremation in the place where you die,
Placing the ashes in a beautiful urn to be taken back home where you were born,
You don’t want to give any trouble carrying a lifeless body,
You don’t want anyone to remember the face of a lifeless body.

No one wants to talk about death,
But there is nothing to be scared talking about it,
Resting the ashes at home in the birth place,
Singing beautiful country songs,
Family and friends wearing their best colorful clothes with smiles of good times,
Planting beautiful flowers on the grave.

No one wants to talk about death,
But there is nothing to be scared talking about it,
The resting place becomes a place of beauty with flowers blooming,
Passer by stops to smell the fragrance of the flowers,
Visiting your resting place someday by your kins will be the only connection to your birthplace,
Knowing that you would rest in peace.

~The End~

An Experimental attempt to put thoughts in writing by Monica Ingudam.

019 It’s all in the mind : Unspoken Words

Unspoken Words

Drown it in your wine,
It’s best to leave it unspoken,
When you are angry,
For words spoken with anger may cause grief breaking a tender heart.

Drown it in your silence,
It’s best to leave it unspoken,
When you are upset,
For words spoken in a disordered state may lose a soul.

Drown it in your tears,
It’s best to leave it unspoken,
When you are hurt,
For words spoken in pain reflects raw reality causing rejections from the humans.

Spoken or unspoken Words,
Both may cause to break any relationships,
But spoken words are never forgotten,
And unspoken words have room for forgiveness.

~The End~

An Experimental attempt to put thoughts in writing by Monica Ingudam.